Are you considering dating during divorce? This is probably the last thing you envisioned doing at this stage in your life. It is an experience that many divorcees find themselves jumping into.
It may seem extremely scary. Is it going to cause any problems with the divorce? Do you remember how to act on a first date? Will your children be upset? Even though this new phase is scary and new, it is a common practice for many divorcing people. So, yes, it can be done and sometimes it’s good for you.
A divorce is likely to be one of the most emotional and gut-wrenching roller coasters you will go on throughout your life. Divorces can take several months, if not well over a year to complete.
It is very common you may miss that companionship, especially after several months of going without. Here are some answers to some of the questions that may pop up in your mind if you are ready to date during your divorce.
How do I act on a first date? It has been years since I have been on one.
Don’t think about it too much. Be yourself. You are probably going to have some crappy dates at first. This is normal. Don’t expect to find prince charming right away. Talk with some friends or family who have been in your position for and get some insight from them. Overall, just relax and have fun. Enjoy the stress release and forget about your divorce for a few minutes.
Will going on a date cause any problems in my divorce?
Probably not. Your ex might get jealous, but that is not your problem. You are allowed to date while you are going through your divorce. There is nothing preventing you from doing so. However, there are some things you might want to consider. If you are seriously dating someone and they are potentially financially supporting you, it may have an impact on a request for spousal maintenance you have made.
For example, if you are requesting your spouse pay you $2,000 a month because you cannot meet your needs on your own, but now you are dating a millionaire, the court might be less inclined to award you that spousal maintenance. Try to keep your own bills and residence during the divorce if you are requesting spousal maintenance. You’ll want to show the court you cannot meet your needs.
The other issue you’ll want to consider is whom you are dating and what their background is if you have children. A judge may not look too fondly on you dating an ex-felon and bringing him or her around your children. If you plan on dating during your divorce and you have children, try and find someone that you think would be a good role model for your children.
Will my children be upset?
This depends on your children. If your children are younger, they likely will not understand and can adjust easier to someone new being in your life. Older children, particularly teenagers, are going to have a more difficult time accepting a boyfriend or girlfriend. Older children may feel that you are replacing the other parent.
If you feel that your child will be upset by this change, take things slowly. Try not to move a new significant other into the household immediately. Also, it might be worth waiting a few months or so before introducing the child to make sure the relationship is going to last.